If I have been struggling with a sinful life, how do I un-harden my heart?

Sincerely,
Trying

Dear Trying,

God says that the only way to “un-harden” a heart is to start really listening and acting on what He says.  A hardened heart is stubborn (Deu 2:30) and proud (Dan 5:20).  A hard heart is another way of saying that someone won’t listen to good advice and won’t do what others tell them.  God gives good advice; it is up to us to listen and act.  Sometimes, we need to take a good long look in the mirror and ask ourselves, “What does God say I should be doing (attending services, avoiding bad company, making better life choices, etc.)?”  Then we need to go out and do it.  Faithful people hear and act (Jas 1:22).  Start doing, and you start changing.

If I watch a porn movie, could it keep me from going to heaven?

Sincerely,
Just One Viewing

Dear Just One Viewing,

Pornography is sinful, and it is popular because it is sinful.  Pornography is based upon lusting after people you aren’t married to (Matt 5:27-28).  Pornography is a lie that substitutes sexual fantasies for genuine marital love.  Pornography is wrong inside a marriage because it corrupts the marriage, and it is wrong outside of a marriage because it destroys any chance for healthy relationships.  Pornography is a sexual sin and can definitely keep you from going to heaven (1 Cor 6:9).  Furthermore, pornography has been found to be highly addictive – one viewing leads to another, leads to another, and eventually, your soul is capsized by this sin.

I am struggling with a very tough sin; I keep falling, but I refuse to give up the good fight.  Sometimes, I feel like I’m a terrible evil person for falling into this sinful life.  I guess what I’m asking is for any tips, advice, and verses to help me defeat this sin.  I’m too embarrassed and extremely scared to admit this sin to others; any advice to help me… just between me and God?  Please pray for me. Thank you.  The answers and verses have helped me many times, especially when you say never give up!

Sincerely,
Mums The Word

Dear Mums The Word,

Our hearts go out to you in this battle – good job not giving up!  We want to help you, and we will pray for you.  Unfortunately, helping you probably means telling you something you don’t want to hear.  It is almost always uncomfortable, humiliating, scary, or costly to admit a sin – but that is exactly why it is often the right thing to do.  God tells us that we should be ready to do whatever it takes to remove sin from our lives (Matt 5:29).  Many times, the right thing to do is also the hardest thing to do.  Confessing our sins isn’t easy (or everyone would do it), but it is one of the purest cures God gives us for a life stuck in sin (Jas 5:16).  God knows that we aren’t meant to handle life’s trials and temptations alone – and the devil knows it, too.  Sin hates the light because it scatters darkness (Jhn 3:19-20).  If you are afraid to admit your sin to others, it is probably exactly what you need to do.

My grandmother is Christian, but she has been married twice.  Both of the men she married are also Christian.  The first guy she married cheated on her, so they divorced, but she still loves him, so I was wondering who will she be with in heaven.  Will she be with the first guy she married or her current husband?

Sincerely,
Family Ties

Dear Family Ties,

Jesus was asked a very similar question by a group of Sadducees in Matt 22:23-28.  Jesus’ answer was simple – there is no marriage in heaven (Matt 22:30).  No one will be married in heaven.

I am very troubled and offended by people that go out of their way to discredit the Bible and the existence of God.  I feel there must be something deep down inside of them that asks the question, “What if it's true?”.  What would some other reasons be for why people discredit the Bible and God’s existence?

Sincerely,
A True Believer

Dear A True Believer,

People reject and seek to destroy Christianity for a number of reasons.  We must make sure to differentiate between those who are actively opposed to Christ and those who simply haven’t become christians.  Only a small portion of society is actively engaged in trying to eradicate God from society.  Those who are vehemently opposed to God have many reasons for being that way:

1. They may be like Paul – actively ignorant.  Paul persecuted the church because he was stubbornly ignorant of the truth about Jesus (1 Tim 1:13).
2. Their consciences have been seared by sin, and their view of the world has been warped by immorality (1 Tim 4:2).
3. Sometimes people oppose God because they have something to gain by pursuing religious (or atheistic) goals.  Their appetites and desire for power become their gods (Php 3:19).
4. They were mistreated and abused by religious people in their past.  If someone has had bad experiences (molestation, abuse, etc.) at the hands of those who professed to serve Christ, they may lash out at God because of their pain and suffering.  This isn’t the right outlet for pain, but it certainly does happen.

Ultimately, we each must stand before God (Heb 9:27).  Whether we believe in God or not – we will all meet Him.