Hi, I had a kidney transplant six years ago, and I am doing fine now.  I have been a faithful servant of God for many years, but I am afraid to go out there and share His good news because I am afraid of one question because I don't know how to answer it: if you have been a faithful christian and if God says He loves you, why didn't God heal YOUR OWN kidneys, so that you didn't have to go through all that dialysis, suffering, and the transplant?  How should I answer this question?  I really don't know the answer.

Sincerely,
On The Mend

Dear On The Mend,

God doesn’t heal everyone’s problems miraculously because there is a purpose to suffering.  As you probably know, after going through difficult struggles, we learn things we could have never learned without those trials.  That is why Paul tells us to rejoice in tribulations because they increase our perseverance and hope (Rom 5:3-5).  The apostle Paul had physical infirmities, and he asked God to heal him; God’s answer was, “No.” (2 Cor 12:7-9)  Eventually, all of our bodies will succumb to sickness and death (Eccl 7:2).  What are important are the lessons we learn between birth and death.  All christians will suffer (Acts 14:22); it is how we react to the suffering that matters.

This is a painful sin.  I know that having sinful thoughts is a sin, and I am a christian.  I've been having horrible thoughts about God; I don’t want to have the thoughts, but they just pop up.  Is that the devil putting them in my head, and will I go to hell for it?  I’m scared.

Sincerely,
Wandering Mind

Dear Wandering Mind,

Dwelling upon evil desires is sinful (such as lusting after a woman – Matt 5:28), but a thought popping into your head is not the same as dwelling upon evil.  We don’t exactly know how much power the devil has to influence our thoughts, but we do know that in certain circumstances, he has put thoughts into people’s minds (such as Judas betraying Christ – Jhn 13:2).

You don’t have complete control over what thoughts come into your mind (this is also true of emotions), but you do have control over what you do with those thoughts.  Jas 1:13-15 points out that sin occurs when we allow our thoughts to dwell upon sinful behavior until we actually act upon it.  Make a choice to think about something else.  The story of the demon tells us that we must remove sin from our lives and replace it with positive things (Matt 12:43-45).  Meditate and dwell on wholesome things (Php 4:8).  Fight evil thoughts by replacing them with holy thoughts.

I was reading the book of Leviticus the other day when I realized that in the list of prohibited marriages, first cousins weren't included.  My question is then: is marrying your cousin a sin?  And if no, then why are most of us Christians appalled at such an act?

Sincerely,
Just Say No

Dear Just Say No,

It isn’t a sin to marry your first cousin.  In fact, it hasn’t even been culturally taboo for very long.  Even two or three generations ago, it was much more common to marry a first cousin.  Today, it is an odd thing to see a first cousin marriage, but it isn’t wrong.  We would even be hesitant to make the statement that, “most of us christians are appalled…” because we aren’t sure that statement is accurate.  Cultures change all the time, and this is a cultural issue, not a Biblical one.

Is it appropriate for a pastor of a church to restrict a congregation member from working in the ministry with an associate pastor (of the opposite sex) because of people’s perception of their friendship?

Sincerely,
Heartsick

Dear Heartsick,

Without dealing with the issue of titles like ‘associate pastor’ (please read “Switching Departments” for more details on church leadership), let’s see if we can break down your question.  Is it appropriate for an elder/pastor to restrict a man and a woman from working closely together in the church because they are giving too intimate of a “vibe” to everyone else?  Yes.  In fact, it is the elders’ job to protect your reputation and your souls from bad situations (Heb 13:17).  Included in Heb 13:17 is the fact that you should trust their judgment and realize that whether you see it or not, there is something unhealthy about your current relationship.  1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9 lay out the qualifications for becoming a pastor/elder.  One of those qualifications is sober-mindedness.  An elder is an older man that has proven that he has experience and wisdom to offer.  If he is saying that your friendship has the form and appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:2)… take him seriously.

I have been a christian for twenty years.  After being saved for one year, I began to fall into pornography.  It was very bad after a few years, and then it began to get better and better over the years.  But still, every month or even two weeks, I commit a sin in this area.  Was I really saved?  And if so, how do I have true repentance?  Please help.

Sincerely,
Lost One

Dear Lost One,

If you properly followed God’s commands to receive salvation (Read “What Must I Do To Be Saved” for more details), then you were saved.  However, you are right that this sin is deeply entrenched in your life, and you need permanent repentance.  We are told that a powerful tool in defeating sin is confessing our sins to one another (Jas 5:16).  Sin likes to be kept secret (Jhn 3:20), and bringing it to light by making it public goes a long way in defeating habitual sin.  A very popular way of getting this sort of accountability is by using accountability software that forwards your browsing history to a friend or trusted individual.  Companies like CovenantEyes make accountability software, and many struggling pornography addicts have found it to make a huge difference.  If you want to defeat sin, you must expose it.  Confess your sin to others, and you will begin the journey to change.