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A Parent's Sorrow Pt. 2

Friday, June 14, 2019

(This post is in reference to “A Parent’s Sorrow”)

Just reading the Q and A about the woman's daughter that has chosen a homosexual life… when do we as a church or member disfellowship ourselves from someone, and how do we do this with a family member or loved one? Out of love, we are not to even eat or associate with them, but how can we do this effectively with an adult child or straying parent?

Sincerely,
Cutting Ties

Dear Cutting Ties,

The Bible doesn’t tell us to withdraw from all people who are living actively sinful lifestyles; we are only told to withdraw from christians who live actively sinful lives.  Paul even said that the church isn’t in the business of judging all mankind (that’s God’s job); we are only responsible to exhort and, if needed, discipline our own (1 Cor 5:9-13).  In the question you are referring to, it doesn’t sound like the daughter is a christian and the member of the church.

Secondly, even if the person is a christian, when the church withdraws from someone, family relationships aren’t as clear-cut as the rest of the brethren.  The church is given strict orders to withdraw and not associate with a wayward brother or sister (1 Cor 5:13).  However, the immediate family doesn’t have the same “black and white” guidelines.  In fact, we see that they sometimes are commanded to do the opposite – as in the case of an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor 7:13).  Close relatives and loved ones falling away can be torturous on the rest of the family, and immediate family oftentimes has to make the tougher decisions of when to draw back and when to keep the family door open.  Family ties in the case of a wayward christian becomes a gray area that requires wisdom and should be handled on a case-by-case basis.

A Parent's Sorrow

Friday, June 07, 2019
     My daughter thinks it's okay for women to love women in a way that men and women are supposed to be in a relationship.  She tells me, “God is love,” and that's what her relationship is, and she also believes that I am judging her.  I know that the devil has blinded her, and my heart aches because I raised my children in church, and I pray for her deliverance.  What do I do?

Sincerely,
Sick Over This

Dear Sick Over This,

If you are looking for verses to show your daughter on the subject of homosexuality, the clearest two in the New Testament are Rom 1:26-27 and Jude 1:7.  However, as you implied, the problem is more than just finding the verses; it is how to act toward a child that has chosen a sinful lifestyle.

There may not be any greater pain on this planet than the pain a parent feels on behalf of their children.  Whether your children have hurt you or you are watching your children hurt, it is a devastating heaviness upon your soul (Pr 10:1).

All you can ever do for your grown children is be a good example, pray for their souls, and stand firm in the truth.  Be that light of Christ that they need to see (Matt 5:14).  Hate the sin, but love them.  Sin causes pain in people’s lives, and hopefully, when that pain gets deep enough – they will choose to look to your example and the Lord’s Will for answers.

Don't Oversimplify

Thursday, June 06, 2019
Is it a sin to be married when I was divorced before?  Will my husband go to hell if he stays married to me even if I was married before?

Sincerely,
Worried Wife

Dear Worried Wife,

It isn’t necessarily a sin for you to be married when you have been divorced before.  The situation depends on a lot of various factors, but be wary of anyone that tells you that Matt 19:9 forces you to divorce your current spouse and nullify your current marriage; there is more to it than that.  This issue is a big issue, and each individual must study the Scriptures concerning this before making a personal decision about it.  Whenever people send us questions dealing with marriage, divorce, and remarriage, we always point them toward our sermon series on the topic.  That series should answer most questions about the subject.  If there are still questions after listening to those five lessons – feel free to write back, but please make sure to include your e-mail, so we can contact you directly.  Here is a link to that series of sermons: “Marriage, Divorce, And Remarriage”.  We appreciate your desire to find and do what is right.

Hardening Of The Arteries

Wednesday, June 05, 2019
     Why did God harden Pharaoh’s heart when Aaron went to tell him to let His people go?  Doesn't that go against free will??

Sincerely,
Chisel In Hand

Dear Chisel In Hand,

It is true that Ex 7:3 says that God hardened Pharaoh’s heart, but Ex 8:15 says that Pharaoh hardened his own heart.  Both are true.  God hardened Pharaoh’s heart by sending Moses to take Pharaoh’s slaves away, and Pharaoh chose to allow the plagues to anger and harden his heart instead of soften it.  God sent the events that affected Pharaoh’s heart, and Pharaoh chose how he would react to them.

It is the same as the statement, “I made him angry” versus “He got angry with me.”  It is true that our words and actions can cause a reaction from others, but at the same time, when someone gets angry, that is still their choice.  Pharaoh was the kind of person that when confronted with the signs and wonders from God, he hardened his heart and became angry.  God sent the signs and wonders; Pharaoh chose to react like he did.

Pray They Will Change

Monday, June 03, 2019
     I was married for twenty years, and we separated due to another female in church; I prayed that our marriage would not end and we would reconcile.  But that didn't happen; we were divorced, and he remarried after two weeks.  Can you tell me why my prayers were not answered?  And why they committed adultery, lied, and even stole from the church but still think that what they did was not wrong? Thank you.

Sincerely,
Devastated

Dear Devastated,

God desires for all of us to purify our hearts and minds and turn from sin, but He also gives us the freedom to choose for ourselves.  God has multiple principles that He must keep in balance at all times.  God hears prayers, but He also allows people to decide for themselves whether or not to be righteous or wicked.  If God simply forced people to become better people, that would remove our freedom of choice.  After all, He tells us that we reap what we sow in this life (Gal 6:7).

We cannot imagine the amount of pain you have been through.  It isn’t that God doesn’t hear prayers; it is that your husband chose to do something sinful.  God doesn’t like it (Mal 2:16), but as we said, God still respects our freewill.  As for how these two people can believe that what they did was okay… sadly, when we choose to do wicked things, it can sear our conscience (1 Tim 4:2), and people rationalize all sorts of sinful behavior because they “feel” it is right.  Every man believes he is right in his own eyes, but in the end, the Lord makes a just judgment (Pr 21:2).

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