Ask Your Preacher
My boyfriend and I have been living together for about four years. We have a one-year-old son and are both very active in his daily life. To us, we have a perfect family, although we are not technically married. We love each other very much and do plan to spend the rest of our lives together and have made that commitment to one another. We would, however, like to wait until we are more financially stable to have a wedding ceremony as that can be quite expensive. We recently rededicated our lives to Christ and are wondering if we are living in sin. I believe that we are, but I am not sure what we should do about it. Does God expect us to no longer live together, to rip our family apart and destroy our son’s happiness? My boyfriend will not get married now as he does not believe we are living in sin as long as we are 100% committed to one another and have made a vow to one another and God that we plan to spend our lives only with one another. I really want to live my life for God and I do in all ways but this. I cannot imagine allowing this to destroy my family. Please offer some advice.
Mixed Emotions Mom
Dear Mixed Emotions Mom,
There is nothing more important to God than you, your boyfriend, and your child. God loves us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die for us (Jhn 3:16). As a parent, can you imagine how deep His love for us must be to make such a sacrifice?
God wants what is best for us. The best thing is for you and your boyfriend to get married. Living together is wrong, and no matter how committed you are, it isn’t the same as being married. In Jhn 4:18, Jesus told a woman that she was not married even though she was living with a man. No matter how your boyfriend feels about you, he isn’t your husband. Show him Jhn 4:18, and then ask him (since you said you are both committed to serving Christ) what he wants to do about it.
As far as the costs involved with getting married, you don’t have to have a big wedding – a quick trip to the courthouse is perfectly fine. Save up and have a big party later. A big, extravagant ceremony is just a luxury, but being married is an issue of morality.
God doesn’t want to rip families apart; He wants us to be saved and to build our lives upon a proper foundation – Jesus Christ and His Word (1 Cor 3:11). It may seem like your life is working well now, but we can guarantee you that not listening to the Bible always makes things worse. There are some things that your child doesn’t fully understand but that you, as the parent, realize are dangerous or important. God is the same way. You don’t see why it is so important to be married, but God says it is. Will you trust Him, or will you trust yourself (Rom 10:17)? The answer to that question will decide your future and set the tone for your life and for your son’s life (Pr 22:6).
What would you tell a high school-age school student about Ouija boards and why it is wrong to use one? The student is not a christian. I am one of his teachers.
Teaching The Truth
Dear Teaching The Truth,
The Bible says that we should always be ready to give an answer for the hope that is within us (1 Pet 3:15). If this student asks you what you think of Ouija boards, all you have to do is say that you don’t use them because your faith is in the Bible, not superstition. The Bible has evidence that proves it is trustworthy; the Ouija board doesn’t. Our goal is always to direct people to the Bible. It isn’t about proving the Ouija board is wrong (although it is!); it is about showing people that the Bible is right. If someone learns to embrace God’s Word, they will naturally begin to repel that which is wrong. After all, there is only room for one master (Matt 6:24).
How do you put all your trust in God?
Another way of saying ‘trust’ is ‘faith’. If you put all your trust in God, you are putting all your faith in God. Rom 10:17 says that faith comes from hearing God’s Word, and Jas 2:18 says our level of faith is seen in our actions. So, we place our trust in God by studying His Word and then actively living lives of conviction based upon what the Bible says.
My wife says she won't be submissive; she says she never has and never will, and if that’s the way I think, maybe we should end our marriage. She also says that submission was only a thing of that time period. I want to live the best christian life that I can; what should I say or do?
Dear Too Aggressive,
The Bible never commands a husband to make his wife submit. God commands husbands to love their wives and wives to submit to their husbands (Eph 5:24-25). You cannot force your wife to submit to you, nor is it your job to do that. She will answer to God for the choices she makes in your marriage, and you will answer to God for the choices you make.
Love your wife and care for her as you do your own body (Eph 5:28). Don't be embittered against her (Col 3:19). These are the commands to a husband. When you live a godly life and follow your responsibilities, you show her that there is another way to live. When a husband lives up to his biblical responsibilities, he becomes a leader in his home. When he does that, his wife has a leader worth following.
I have trouble explaining my relationship with God. And if someone asks me to tell them what Jesus means to me, I want to know how to explain it.
It is a wonderful thing that you want to be able to explain what you believe and why you believe it. Peter said that every christian should be ready to give an answer for the hope that is within them (1 Pet 3:15). We are going to point you to some previous posts that should be of use to you in getting a grasp on why Christianity is the hope of all humanity.
- Here is an article that gives evidence for God’s existence – “Does God Exist?”
- Here is an article with evidences that the Bible is God’s Word – “Who Wrote The Bible?”
- Here is an article which deals with what it takes to become a christian – “Five Steps To Salvation”
- Here is an article that explains Jesus’ church and all the religious confusion in the world – “Down With Denominationalism”
Those should be enough to give you some verses and answers for many of the basic questions a christian needs to respond to. Once again, you deserve a pat on the back for wanting to be ready to give an answer for your beliefs.