Ask Your Preacher

Ask Your Preacher

MARRIAGE

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Just Not Feeling It

Monday, January 15, 2018
I have two questions:

1. I am a married woman, and in the Bible, it says that a wife’s desire is to please her husband, but what if I don't have that?  Is it a sin?  And what if I don't want it?

2. Is it wrong to pray and ask God for a way out of my marriage?

I also want to let you know I'm a christian and love God with all my heart, and I love my husband and do treat my husband well, but I think he needs someone who wishes to please him.

Sincerely,
Runaway Bride

Dear Runaway Bride,

The verse you are referring to is Gen 3:16, and it has to do with the fact that the husband will rule over the household, and the wife will be his helper – it has nothing to do with the personal desire to make someone happy.  The Bible instead says that it is often very hard to want to show respect and love for your spouse – that is why it is a command (Eph 5:33).  God commands us to do things because they are things that are good for us… but not necessarily what we want to do.  Many women don't want to please their husbands, but they choose to do what is in his best interest anyways.  True godliness is built upon a decision to do what is right, even when you don't feel like it.  So to answer your first question: you don't have to feel a strong desire to please your husband, but you do need to try and be a godly, faithful wife.  When you stop trying, that is a sin (Jas 4:17).

To answer your second question: yes, it is wrong to pray for a way out of your marriage.  God doesn't desire for marriages to be destroyed (Mal 2:16), and He wants marriage to be for a lifetime (Mk 10:6-9).  We are told to never pray for things that go against God's will (1 Jn 5:14).  Praying for a way out of your marriage is definitely against God's will.

Marriage Matters

Tuesday, November 14, 2017
What are some good Bible verses that tell us same-sex marriage/relationships are wrong?

Sincerely,
Looking For Bible Answers

Dear Looking For Bible Answers,

There are numerous verses that condemn homosexuality.  In the New Testament, 1 Cor 6:9 specifically states that homosexuals cannot inherit the kingdom.  Rom 1:26-27 says that homosexuality is a perversion of God’s natural design of men and women.  1 Cor 7:2 points out that marriage is intended for a man and a woman (Matt 19:4-6 also states this).  Jude 1:7 points out that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for their homosexual behavior.  Those are some of the most forthright New Testament verses on the subject.

An Inconvenient Truth

Thursday, November 02, 2017
I am a christian.  I was saved when I was a teenager, but I was never baptized.  Does this mean that I am going to go to hell?  Also, I am engaged, but my fiancé is Jewish.  Is this wrong?  We both believe in God. Would it be wrong for me to go to synagogue?  Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I look forward to your answers.

Sincerely,
Preparing For The Future

Dear Preparing For The Future,

Let’s deal with the baptism question first.  Baptism is necessary for salvation.  The Bible teaches that when we believe and are baptized, we are saved (Mk 16:16).  Peter says that baptism saves us (1 Pet. 3:21), and Paul says that when we are immersed in baptism, we are buried with Christ and given a new life (Rom 6:1-3).  It is a wonderful thing that you believed in Christ as a teenager.  Without belief, baptism means nothing.  It is impossible to please God without faith (Heb 11:6).  However, biblical faith includes action (Jas 2:14-17, Jas 1:22).  Baptism is the first act of faith God requires of us, and it is baptism that removes our sins (Acts 2:38).  If you would like, we would be happy to get you in touch with someone in your area who could teach you further and, if you are ready, baptize you.  Simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org if we can help.
Now let’s look at your engagement.  The Jewish religion does not believe and teach that Jesus is the Savior.  This is a very big problem.  The New Testament says that it is impossible to be saved without Jesus (Jhn 14:6).  The apostle John probably put it the bluntest when he said that any teacher that denies Jesus is a deceiver and enemy of God (2 Jn 1:7).  Modern Judaism is not a faithful religion.  God tells us to avoid marriages that will “unequally yoke” us (2 Cor 6:14).  Marriage is the most important and intimate relationship you will have on this planet.  If you aren’t worshipping the same God, your marriage will not work.  Even the wisest man in history, Solomon, found that his heart was turned from God because he married women that weren’t faithful (1 Kgs 11:4).  The Bible firmly warns against marrying non-christians.
We are sure that this information doesn’t make things easier for you, and it probably isn’t what you were hoping to hear, but we would rather tell you a painful truth than an easy lie.  We wish you the very best as you have some difficult decisions to consider.

Hindered By Hinduism

Wednesday, October 25, 2017
I've been dating a Hindu woman for about eight months.  I have fallen in love with her.  I would love to marry her, as she would be a great wife.  However, she is not a christian.  Over the months, we have talked about religion, and she has shown some (a little) interest in Christianity.  I know only God can lead her to Christ, so this is the question I pose.  Is it selfish for me to pray for her to be lead to Christ, so I can be with her?  I feel this is a self-centered prayer because I want her to be saved because I want to be with her and have a Christ-centered relationship… and not really because of her salvation.  I feel guilty and very confused.  I have prayed about this for quite a while, and I hope you will be able to shed some light on this issue.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Praying To Propose

Dear Praying To Propose,

Why can’t you have both?  It is possible to pray for her conversion because you love her and want to marry her and so that she can go to heaven.  The two goals aren’t mutually exclusive.  In fact, we can’t think of a better win-win scenario.  God tells us to pray for the things we want but to also pray that His will be done (Matt 6:10, Jas 4:15).  In this case, you know that what you want is definitely the same as what God wants.  God wants everyone to be saved (Ezek 18:23).  Pray for her, be a good example, prepare ahead of time in your heart to never marry a non-christian, and be ready to answer her questions with logical Bible answers (1 Pet 3:15).  Hopefully, she has as honest a heart as you hope.

Apartment Drama

Wednesday, October 11, 2017
I live in an apartment complex, and the guy that works around here is a pastor.  About a week ago, he came to fix something in my house.  He is a married man, and he gave me a hug.  I am a single woman.  I have not been with a man in four years.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Tenant

Dear Tenant,

If you believe that there was more to the hug than just platonic kindness – you should make sure that you aren’t ever in a position to be alone with this man.  The problem with something like a hug is that it isn’t a definitively inappropriate gesture, but as a general rule, your “radar” is correct when you sense something wrong with a situation.  The Bible gives one command regarding sexual temptation – FLEE (1 Cor 6:18).  Sexual relations are only intended for a husband and a wife (1 Cor 7:1-2).  You are not married and should avoid all inappropriate relationships with this man.  Adultery and fornication only bring heartache and pain (Pr 5:3-6).

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