I may be given an opportunity to be on the reality show ‘The Bachelor’.  Would this be bad?  Also, when you are dating, what point should the line be drawn at for intimacy?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Moment Of Fame

Dear Moment Of Fame,

The line should be drawn significantly before one begins cavorting semi-nude in a pool with a harem of women.  We admit that we have never seen the television show ‘The Bachelor’, but the commercials alone are enough to paint a pretty appalling picture.  Women are degraded and dress immodestly (1 Tim 2:9), love is replaced with lust (Rom 6:12), and men give a horrible example of what being a worthwhile mate should be (Eph 5:25, 1 Tim 5:2).

Christians are supposed to live godly and holy lives, leaving the intimacy of the sexual realm to marriage (1 Thess 4:3-5).  Reality television shows with this type of content shouldn’t even be watched by Christians.  We live in a world that panders to the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 Jn 2:16).  Christians are to seek God with self-control (2 Pet 1:6).  The marriage bed is to be held in honor (Heb 13:4).  Shows like this neither teach self-control or hold marriage in a place of honor.  Yes, it would be bad for you to participate in ‘The Bachelor’.

Does God put circumstances in front of us to teach us lessons (be they good or bad)?  I am beginning to believe He does out of love.

Sincerely,
Life Lessons

Dear Life Lessons,

Yes, God does discipline us through circumstances in our lives, and He does do it out of love.  Heb 12:6 says that if God loves you, He will discipline you as His child.  Heb 12:9 compares God to an earthly parent that chastens his children, so they will grow and learn.  God, as our heavenly Father, does the same.  All discipline brings pain, but that sorrow eventually leads to growth and maturity (Heb 12:11).  God disciplines us out of love and with the specific goal of leading us to maturity and heaven (Heb 12:10).

Is it okay for a man to act gay even if he isn't gay?

Sincerely,
Manly Man

Dear Manly Man,

No, it is not okay for a man to act homosexual or effeminate.  Ever.  The Bible clearly states that we are to avoid all appearances/forms of evil (1 Thess 5:22).  Homosexuality is a sin (Rom 1:26-27); christians should never look like they are sinning.  Contrary to popular media attention, christians do not hate homosexuals, nor does the Bible teach that we should hate anyone (Matt 5:43-45).  As the old saying goes, “Hate the sin, but love the sinner”.  Having said that, homosexuality is dead wrong and a godless lifestyle that will condemn one to hell (Rev 21:8).  Christians should be teaching and converting people from homosexuality, not imitating their behavior.

The Bible specifically says that it is wrong for a man to even act in an effeminate way (1 Cor 6:9).  Men should act like men, not women.  Women are naturally feminine, and men are naturally masculine - hence the words of Romans 1:26-27 that state that homosexuals “give up the natural use”.  It may seem comical when you see a man acting in a feminine way, but it isn’t funny – it’s sinful.

A lot of my friends at school swear and try to pressure me into it, but I always tell them, “No.”  I don’t know how to kindly tell them I do not swear, and I don't want them to swear around me. Do you have any advice on this?

Sincerely, No Soap For My Mouth

Dear No Soap For My Mouth,

Good for you for standing up for God.It isn’t easy to do the right thing when everyone else is doing the wrong thing. The Bible says that a friend loves at all times (Pr 17:17). If someone is truly our friend, they won’t purposefully try and hurt us or make us do something that would upset our conscience. Tell your friends at school, “If you are really my friend, you won’t say things that upset me.You may be okay with swearing, but I’m not, and please be a friend and not swear around me.” If they are really your friends, they will stop (or at least try and stop). If they won’t, then they aren’t really what God calls a friend.

Are both cremation and burial acceptable per the Bible?  If we follow Jesus' example, shouldn't we all be entombed?

Sincerely, Ashes to Ashes

Dear Ashes to Ashes,

Both cremation and burial are acceptable Biblical practices. The Bible makes it clear that your body is merely a tent that is discarded at death (2 Cor 5:1-4). Peter recognized that at death we leave this ‘tent’ of a body behind (2 Pet 1:14). Ultimately, your physical body will return to dust and dirt (Gen 3:19).It may sound morbid, but cremation simply speeds along the natural process of decay that will occur to all bodies eventually.

Furthermore, we have at least one account of cremation occurring in the Old Testament. Saul and his sons were cremated after they died in battle (1 Sam 31:12). The men that cremated Saul and his sons were later commended by David for their behavior (2 Sam 2:5). That same verse in 2 Samuel shows that David considered cremation a form of burial.David’s endorsement of cremation as a godly practice is worth noting.

The Bible does not seem to place much focus on how someone is buried. God’s emphasis is upon how we live (Gal 2:20), not what is done with our body after we die.