I'm thirty years old and have been through my share of trials over the past few years.  Just this year alone, I've spent a week in the hospital and was sick the rest of the month (February), my dad tried to commit suicide (March), my mama died on my 30^th birthday - suddenly (May), I was terminated from my job when I returned from her funeral (May), my black lab was poisoned (June)… but thankfully he lived, I've had a "chemical pregnancy" i.e. early miscarriage (October), and the stress caused me to fail two classes in school which disqualified me from the program I've worked so hard to get into.  I have to now wait another year.  We are struggling severely with our finances, and I'm scared that we are going to just slip further behind.  I've gained 40+ lbs. and feel like I'm eating because I deserve punishment for some reason.  My "issues" are causing a lot of grief, not only to me, but also to my family.

My question is: why, why, why does it seem that God allows so much pain to enter one person’s life but spares others?  This is affecting my faith, which I am trying desperately to hold onto.  I pray to God daily asking Him to guide me and mold me into what He wants from me.  I ask Him if for some reason I am doing something wrong to deserve so much pain, please help me correct it.  Please help me understand the need for all of this pain.

Sincerely,
Daily Sufferer

Dear Daily Sufferer,

We are so very sorry to hear of the difficulties you are facing.  If we were in your circumstances, we would feel exactly as you do.  The truth is, God does not desire anyone to suffer.  God made the world perfect, placed mankind in the Garden of Eden, and gave us a joyously blissful existence in that paradise.  Who caused the pain?  We did.  It is sin that has brought all of the death, disease, decay, pain, suffering, troubles, and heartaches into our world.  We all, in varying degrees, are reaping the benefits of a world with sin in it.

People suffer for various reasons:

1. Sometimes we suffer for our own sins (Gal 6:7-8)
2. Sometimes we suffer because of others’ choices (Like David's sufferings at the hands of Saul - 1 Sam 20:1)
3. Sometimes we suffer in order to glorify God through our suffering and recovery (Like the blind man - Jhn 9:2-3)

No matter what, God tells us that we can rejoice in tribulations (Rom 5:3) because eventually, if we suffer faithfully, our tribulations produce indestructible hope… a hope that cannot be taken away from us.  God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28).  We cannot tell you how or when, but someday you will look back on this time and say, "I am better for having been through it."  Until that day, trust in the Lord, and He will see you through.

What does it mean when you are asked, "Is the yoke uneven?"

Sincerely,
Huh?

Dear Huh,

The verse being referred to is 2 Cor 6:14.  A ‘yoke’ is a ‘harness used to tie oxen together, so that they can pull a plow or cart’.  When God tells us not to be “unequally yoked” to an unbeliever, He is warning us not to put ourselves in a position where we are committed and tied to someone who doesn’t share our values.  The most poignant example of this is marriage.

If you are a Christian and you are married to someone who is not a Christian… you are going to have MAJOR problems.  Your life is going one way, and their’s is going another.  It is hard to pull a plow if the oxen don’t both go the same direction!  This is why God tells Christians to only marry other Christians (1 Cor 7:39).  So when someone asks you, “Is the yoke uneven?”, they are probably asking whether you are married to a Christian.

Does the Bible condemn the legal use of narcotics?

Sincerely,
From Washington Or Colorado

Dear From Washington Or Colorado,

Plants (and drugs made from plants) are wonderful things if used as God intended – medicinally.  Anything that removes the clarity of someone’s mind or makes them drunk is sinful if used recreationally (1 Cor 5:11).  Christians are to be sober-minded, so that we can properly learn, grow, and serve the Lord (1 Thess 5:6).  The devil loves an addled brain, and the moment we stop thinking clearly, he is ready to pounce (1 Pet 5:8).  Furthermore, the body is a temple and should be treated as God intended – not destroyed with drugs (1 Cor 6:19).  Drugs destroy your body and mind.  You were bought with a price; glorify God in your body (1 Cor 6:20).

Would it be okay to be in support of equal civil rights for homosexuals?

Sincerely,
Almost An Advocate

Dear Almost An Advocate,

Biblically speaking, a nation that puts God first will be blessed (Ps 33:12).  God makes it clear that active homosexual lives are sinful and should be discouraged (Rom 1:26-27).  When a Christian has a chance to impact the political realm of the society they are in, they should always try and shape that society in a way that discourages homosexuality.  "Civil rights" for homosexuals isn't about treating them equally as humans; it is about making society more amenable to that sort of lifestyle.

Is it okay for a Christian to be in support of gay marriage?  I'm guessing the answer is ‘no’.  What about hanging out and being friends with people that support gay marriage?

Sincerely,
Finding Friends

Dear Finding Friends,

Homosexual marriage, the right to abortion (i.e. the right to kill babies), freedom of worship, etc. are issues that, regardless of other political views, a Christian must stand firm on. A Christian that supports homosexual marriage is supporting and endorsing sin. It is no different than Solomon building idolatrous temples for his wives – he sinned in condoning their sin (1 Kgs 11:4-9).

Now, the second part of your question has to do with keeping company with those who support homosexual “marriage”.  Christians are constantly trying to strike the balance between being lights to the world (Matt 5:14) and keeping themselves pure and undefiled from the world’s influences (Jas 1:27).  As long as we live on this planet, we will have trials (Jhn 16:33).  It is a fine line between being an influence and being corrupted by the world.  Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33).  It isn’t wrong to befriend someone who is living a homosexual lifestyle or endorsing such behavior, just like it isn’t wrong to befriend someone who lies or uses bad language… but we must always be guarded in our relationships with those outside of Christ (2 Cor 6:14).  The Lord loves people but hates sin.  You should show love for these people in your life but still abhor their sinful choices (after all, those sins are destroying their souls!).  If you can influence a person for good, then do so.  If they are corrupting you and keeping you from being the best Christian you can be, begin to distance yourself (Gal 5:1).  You may even deem it appropriate to tell the person why you are distancing yourself (1 Pet 3:15).  Maybe, just maybe, they will change if they are made aware of what their choices are costing them.