Ask Your Preacher
Is there any where in the Bible that dictates how many children to have?
Three or Twelve?
Dear Three or Twelve,
No, the amount of children that a married couple has together is a matter of personal preference. God never stipulates how many children a couple can (or cannot) have. There are examples of faithful married couples having no children (such as Hannah and Elkanah – 1 Sam 1:1-2), and there are examples of faithful couples having a dozen children (like Jacob’s family – Gen 35:22).
My question is in regard to taking fertility medicine to conceive a child. I have a hormonal imbalance that makes me have difficulty conceiving. I took medicine after trying to conceive for over a year. It worked for me, and I had a beautiful son. I feel like God sent him to me, and he is a blessing, but in the back of my mind, I wonder if God thinks it was okay for me to take the medicine to have him. I just want to know... is it okay to take fertility drugs to conceive a child in the eyes of the Lord?
Dear Baby Boom,
God condones taking medication for our health problems. Paul told Timothy to take some wine for his stomach (1 Tim 5:23). The sick were told to have the elders pray over them and anoint them with oil – oil was used as a medicine (Jas 5:14).
We know that medicine is perfectly appropriate when you are sick. Though some feel uncomfortable using fertility drugs (and you should never do anything that goes against your conscience – 1 Tim 1:5), the argument can be made that fertility medication is just like using aspirin or any other medical technique to improve human health and body function. Enjoy the blessing of your baby boy, and thank God for him (Col 4:2).
I long to have children, and I feel like it is my call in life to be a mother, but my husband does not want kids. He is very adamant about not having children, EVER! This is not what we had planned and certainly not something that I agree with. How lonely would it be when we are older and our families are gone and we have no kids of our own to visit with and talk to. What do I do? I have tried prayer and talking to him. I don't know if I can deal with never having children. Any advice?
Dear Baby Mama,
The longing of the female soul for children is as old as the world. Ever since Eve became the mother of all living, women have wanted children (Gen 3:20). Leah used children as the benchmark of whether she was a successful wife (Gen 29:32). God also says that he opened Leah’s womb as a comfort and blessing to her (Gen 29:31).
Rachel was bereaved that she could not have children, and she, like you, fought with her husband over that issue (Gen 30:2). Women unable to have children (for whatever reason) are very often vexed by a deep emotional burden. In fact, childbearing is so entrenched in the psyche and feminine culture that women sometimes measure one another by their children; Peninnah often provoked Hannah because she had no children (1 Sam 1:6).
In fact, Hannah is an excellent example of how to deal with the sorrow of not having children. Hannah never stopped loving her husband and maintaining a godly relationship with him (1 Sam 1:4-5). Elkanah, her husband, didn’t understand why children were so important to Hannah, and it is likely your husband doesn’t either (1 Sam 1:7-8). Hannah prayed constantly for God to find a way for her to have children; she prayed in her sorrow, and she prayed in hope (1 Sam 1:10).
Trust in the Lord, be a godly wife, continue to pray, and study the Scriptures with your husband on this topic, but ultimately you must learn to be content in whatever state you are in (Php 4:11). May the Lord bless you in your difficult struggle.
Two of my children left home to live with their father that has not been in their lives all their lives (my son is seventeen and daughter thirteen). They feel like I have to many rules, and he has none. Their father is not saved and does not go to church. I know this will be a big mistake. I want my children home, but like God, I want to choose the right thing. What do I need to study and pray about to have them to see the light and come home before it is too late, or should I just let it be? Help!
The Unpopular Parent
Dear The Unpopular Parent,
Of course you want your children home, but forcing them to come home won’t work either. Hammering them with Bible verses probably isn’t going to be your best option. Since they have the option of choosing where they live, and since they are old enough to make the decision on their own… their lives are in their own hands to a certain degree. You have been a light in their life (Php 2:15), and you have tried to train them up in a way that is pleasing to God (Pr 22:6). Now they will have to decide who they want to become.
At some point, everyone has to work out their own salvation (Php 2:12). Your children, for better or worse, are now entering that stage of life. Continue to be a loving, godly example to them and let your influence work. Your children are already greatly blessed with an advantage because their mother is a christian (Pr 20:7). You have done your best to provide them with the tools to succeed, and now it is their turn to ask and seek for themselves (Matt 7:7).
Continue to pray (1 Thess 5:7), continue to teach them when possible (Deu 11:19), and then be still and know that the future is in the Lord’s hands (Ps 46:10).
I am having a baby, but I am not married to her father. My father said that this will be his child, not ours, if we don't get married. He's a christian. But is this in the Bible somewhere?! If not, what can I say to him?
Dear Mad Mama,
There is a great deal involved in your situation, but you have only asked us to handle one piece of your difficult puzzle. For the sake of clarity, we will only deal with the specific question of whether or not the baby belongs to you or your parent.
The baby does belong to both you and its father. If for no other reason then the laws of the land stipulate that the biological parents, unless deemed legally unfit, have rightful guardianship over the child. The Bible says to obey the laws of the land (1 Pet 2:13). There is no Scripture that would provide a grandparent with the authority to take a child from the parent. Having said that, there are quite likely some extraneous details that are involved in your situation that you are not making us aware of. Anytime children are born outside of marriage there are thousands of issues involved because of the traumatic circumstances surrounding that child’s birth. The Bible issue is clear; it is your baby… and your responsibility to do whatever is necessary to give that child a godly rearing (Pr 22:6).