Why can't women be popes or nuns or whatever?

Sincerely,
Women’s Rights

Dear Women’s Rights,

Women can be nuns, but nuns are Catholic – not christian (the pope is also not a christian, but a Catholic).  In the church, the leadership is made up only of men.  Elders, deacons, and preachers are all men (1 Tim 3:1, 1 Tim 3:12, 1 Cor 14:34).  This isn't because men are better than women; it is because men and women have different responsibilities.  Being an elder, deacon, or preacher does come with honor, but it also comes with a stricter judgment (Jas 3:1, Heb 13:17).  We all have roles to fulfill in the church, and each role is different.

I feel like I am struggling to be the person God wants me to be; I ask Him for guidance and to help me make sure I’m going down the path He wants me to.  My future still seems so uncertain.  I’m watching my grandfather die slowly, and I’m struggling through a relationship with a girl I care a lot about but don’t know if we are right for each other.  I also have a fear for her faithfulness even though she, to my knowledge, has never done anything she shouldn’t have.  I don’t remember ever feeling so lost even though I think my relationship with God is as strong as ever.  Admittedly, I don’t go to church; I haven’t been for years.  I tell myself that what is important is my relationship with God.  I feel guilty for complaining about my life knowing that there are people out there who have it much worse than I do.  I’m healthy, fed; I mean, I have a pretty decent life.

In short - am I being selfish?  Why do I feel lost and not know the right thing to do?  How do you know what is best for you?  Would I be a better christian/person if I went to church?

I don’t expect you to answer this or reply, but guidance would be appreciated.

Sincerely,
Without A Compass

Dear Without A Compass,

Solomon once said that to fear God and keep His commandments is the whole of man (Eccl 12:13).  Right now, you aren’t feeling whole because you aren’t paying attention to all of His commandments.  The sum of God’s Word is truth (Ps 119:160).  We cannot find peace and salvation without embracing all of God’s teachings and humbly allowing the Master to guide our lives.  Heb 10:24-25 makes it clear that you cannot serve God without assembling with christians on a regular basis.  He also teaches that we must take the Lord’s Supper regularly (every Sunday – Acts 20:7) with other christians (1 Cor 11:20-26).  No man is an island; christians are meant to gather together with others who can help them through the trials of life (like watching your grandfather die) and the difficult decisions (like how to proceed with your girlfriend).  The church is made up of many individuals, and it is designed to build all of us up together in Christ (Eph 4:12-16).  You won’t be a whole person until you begin working with a church and attending services.

We caution you that it is important to find a church that will teach and instruct you only in the Scriptures.  Not all congregations are alike.  There are many religious groups that warp and pervert the Scriptures (1 Jhn 4:1) – and they will only make your situation worse.  If you would like help finding a faithful and Biblical congregation in your area, please feel free to e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we will do our best to put you in contact with a trustworthy congregation near you.

I was told recently by my pastor that an elder should always put his congregation first, even before his wife.  I believe that to be incorrect.  I always thought that we should all place God first, our spouses second, and our children third, and that is the model for a christian family.  I believe that to be one of the most significant examples to your congregation.  Am I correct, or am I wrong about this?

Sincerely,
Ducks In A Row

Dear Ducks In A Row,

You are right.  The Scriptures are clear that being an elder is a voluntary position (1 Tim 3:1).  A man can resign from the eldership, but he can’t resign from his marriage or his family.  God makes it clear that when a man marries, a large portion of his life becomes dedicated to caring for his wife’s needs (1 Cor 7:32-34).  Furthermore, husbands are clearly told that they must care for their wives as much as they care for their own bodies (Eph 5:28).  A man is a husband for life; he is an elder by choice for a time.

His relationship with his children is also not optional.  A father has various responsibilities to his offspring (Eph 6:4, Col 3:21, Heb 12:9, etc.).

I am looking for a lesson on the authority of worshipping on Sunday as opposed to serving the Lord on Saturday.  After reading about the Council of Laodicea and seeing that after Christ died 300 plus years later, the church seemed to take a change.  Although I have heard lessons on this subject, it has been some time, and unfortunately, I need a refresher.

Sincerely,
Ready For The Weekend

Dear Ready For The Weekend,

Christians have always worshipped God on Sunday.  The easiest place to see this in Acts 20:7 where Paul met with a congregation to worship on Sunday.  Furthermore, local congregations are commanded to gather together and take up a collection on Sundays (1 Cor 16:1-2).  The pattern of the church meeting on Sundays is established very early in the New Testament.  Sunday worship is the Biblical pattern of worship – not Saturdays.

What are the keys to the kingdom?

Sincerely,
Locked In Confusion

Dear Locked In Confusion,

The keys to the kingdom are the teachings that provide access to salvation (which is only found in the church).  In Matt 16:13-15, Jesus asked His disciples who He was.  Peter told Jesus, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Matt 16:16-17).  After that statement, Jesus tells Peter that His church (which is the kingdom – Col 1:13) will be built upon the foundational rock of Peter’s statement that Jesus was the Christ (Matt 16:18).

After that statement, Jesus tells the apostles that they will be given the keys to the kingdom/church (Matt 16:19).  Keys provide access.  If you have the keys to a house – you can get in.  Keys to the car – you can drive it.  Keys to the kingdom – you know how to get into the church.  Jesus told the apostles that they would receive that key knowledge when the Holy Spirit came (Jhn 14:26).  The Holy Spirit gave the miraculous knowledge to the apostles on the day of Pentecost (Acts 2:1-4).  Consequently, the apostles have written down this knowledge for us to read (Eph 3:4)… so that we can have the keys to the kingdom, too.