Lately, I have been feeling like I have not been the best christian that I ought to be.  I try to be excited that I'm going to heaven and how blessed I am to know God and living how Christ would have me to, but sometimes I get so upset thinking about all those (including family) that won’t be there with me.  I try to always be positive, hoping that others may come to repentance, but for some, I know there is no chance they will follow Christ.  Why do I keep lingering on these thoughts?

Sincerely,
Disheartened

Dear Disheartened,

You are facing a normal and healthy part of the christian growth process.  It is a sign of compassion when that you look at those who are lost in this world, and it wrenches your heart.  It is okay to be hurt by the vastness of those who have chosen the wide path to destruction (Matt 7:13).  Jesus wept over His kinsman in Jerusalem that turned their back on the truth and rejected the gift of salvation (Lk 19:41-42).  When Paul thought about his lost fellow countryman, it grieved him deeply… so much so that he wished he could trade places with their souls, so they might be saved (Rom 9:1-3).  Paul’s heart’s desire was that his beloved kinsman would be saved (Rom 10:1-2), but he also knew that it was their choice, not his.  You are having the same emotions that Paul and Jesus dealt with – take it as a sign of spiritual maturity and growth.

The important thing to remember is that the greatest help you can be to the lost is to be that shining light and preserving salt that Christ exhorted us to become (Matt 5:13-15).  You can’t save everyone from their own choices, but, as Paul said, we try and live so that we can save some (Rom 11:13-14).

What should I do when people don't listen?

Sincerely,
Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

When people won’t listen there are two options – stop talking or change your tactic.  Before giving up on someone, ask yourself the question, “Are my words seasoned with grace?”  God tells us that what we say must always be thoughtfully chosen (Col 4:6).  Having said that, sometimes people have simply hardened their hearts to God’s Word, and Jesus says in such cases to “not throw your pearl’s before swine” (Matt 7:6).

Is it wrong for christian teens to participate in school dances like prom and homecoming?

Sincerely,
Sock Hop

Dear Sock Hop,

The reason that many christian parents hesitate to encourage their kids go to prom, homecoming, and other school dances is that they often include activities that are sinful.  Modern dancing is designed to be sexually provocative, and it puts young men and women in compromising positions that nurture the sort of behavior and attitudes that lead to sexual immorality and unhealthy relationships.  Not all dancing is sinful (Eccl 3:4), but the kind of dancing encouraged at most school dances is not wholesome.  We are told to flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18), to do things that are honorable (Rom 12:17), and to avoid even the appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:21-22).  School dances, at best, put teens in situations that don’t appear godly, and at worst, can lead to things like pre-marital sex.  When people engage in the type of dancing so often seen in today’s culture, they act in a way that appears indecent and gives room for the lust of the flesh to overpower them (Rom 6:12, 1 Jn 2:16).

What does the Bible say about present-day demon possession?

Sincerely,
Afraid Of The Dark

Dear Afraid Of The Dark,

Evil spirits are real, but they were cast out and their powers greatly reduced by Christ and the apostles.  Demon possession ended not long after the days of Christ.  Jesus made it clear that one of His jobs was to bind the devil and take His strength away by casting out his demons (Matt 12:28-29).  When Jesus’ disciples had come back from their evangelism trips and related to Him that they had cast out many demons, Jesus told them that they were defeating Satan by getting rid of Satan’s demonic minions (Lk 10:17-18).  When Jesus and His disciples cast out demons, they did it permanently (Lk 8:30-33) and bound Satan by their acts.  We no longer have to deal with such overt attacks by the devil because he has been bound by Christ’s sacrifice (Rev. 20:2).  Demon possession no longer exists; the devil must use subtler methods to deceive us now.

I need some advice, please.  In our congregation, we begin midweek Bible class by taking prayer requests; after which, a prayer is offered by one of the men.  I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with some of the prayers that are being requested and offered.  Some of the members request prayers for family and friends who are unbelievers and experiencing issues such as surgeries, pregnancy complications, injuries, illness, financial difficulties, etc.  One member has asked several times that her mom, who has shown no interest whatsoever in coming to church, might find a job and for her sister whose baby was born premature to be able to deal with the stress and worry.  However, this is the second baby her sister has born out of wedlock with two different men.  She frequents the local bars and continues live with her boyfriend who fathered this most recent baby.  My question is: should we be offering prayers for unbelievers other than that they repent and turn from their sins?  I am really uncomfortable about the prayers being offered that ask God to heal, comfort, and "be with" these family members and friends who continue to live in sin.  Praying for the health of a baby or child is one thing, but praying for grown adults who give no indication they are interested in repenting and getting the sin out of their life...?  Privately, I pray that the trials these people are having will cause them to draw closer to God and change their lives.  But how do I handle this situation where public prayer is being offered?  Do I pray – or pretend to pray – with the group when I feel like we are praying for something displeasing to God?  As a single woman, I don't know how to go about expressing my concerns without coming off as being critical or unsubmissive to the men's leadership.  One complication is that several of the members requesting these prayers are young adults and recent converts.  However, some, including the men offering prayers, have been in the church for years and appear to be okay with it all.  Am I way off base, and if I'm not, how do I handle this?  Please help.

Sincerely,
Keeping My Head Down

Dear Keeping My Head Down,

Your concerns are valid, and praying for unbelievers is also valid.  The verses that will answer your concerns are 1 Tim 2:1-4.  Those four verses lay out God’s attitude toward praying for unbelievers.  First and foremost, we are told to pray for all men (1 Tim 2:1).  That is a very clear verse on the subject.  It is appropriate, necessary, and godly to pray for all human beings.  1 Tim 2:2 says that we are even to pray for politicians!  It may be a little tongue-in-cheek to say, but most folks don’t think much of the lifestyles and attitudes of politicians, and yet, we are told to pray for their well-being and success.  God is so adamant that prayers ought to be offered on behalf of all men that 1 Tim 2:3 specifically says, “This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior”.  So take comfort, praying for unbelievers is the right thing to do, and you can comfortably join in the congregational prayers offered on their behalf.

Now, we also said that your concerns are valid – that is where 1 Tim 2:4 comes in.  1 Tim 2:4 points out that the ultimate goal is to save souls.  If everyone is blessed with creature comforts, but their souls are lost in the end – it was a waste (Matt 16:26).  Sometimes people need catastrophes to bring them closer to God, and sometimes people convert because they knew the church was praying for them, and that prayer was answered.  So how do we know who and what to pray for?!  One option is to only pray for the people that we feel are “worthy”… but that sure puts us in the position of being judge and jury, doesn’t it (Jas 4:10-12)?  The other option is to pray for all and always remember to have the attitude of “Lord willing”.  Jas 4:13-15 says that whatever we do, we should pray that the Lord’s will would come first.  It is good to pray for all people, but we should also always have the attitude that God’s will should supersede our own desires.  If at some point the congregation isn’t showing that attitude of humility in the congregational prayers, you will have a problem, but if we always remember that the goal is to save souls and the Lord knows best, it is a wonderful thing to pray for all men.