A man in the community who does pressure washing told me on three different occasions that he would pressure wash a deck for me.  He never did honor what he said.  Was this wrong of him?

Sincerely,
Pressured Out

Dear Pressured Out,

Yes, it was wrong of him, but what you do about it is a separate issue.  God says that we should let our “yes be yes” and our “no be no” (Matt 5:37).  If we say we are going to do something, we should do it.  That is one reason why it is so important that we are careful with what we say (Jas 3:2).

Now, we would be remiss if we didn’t point out that the Scriptures say something else entirely when someone has defrauded or lied to you.  God tells us to never take our own vengeance (Rom 12:19).  Jesus says that when someone defrauds us, we should turn the other cheek (Matt 5:38-41).  It is unfortunate that this man never came through with his promise.  At least it gives you an opportunity to be the bigger person.

What does the Bible say about premarital sex?

Sincerely,
Waiting

Dear Waiting,

It is always sinful for people to lay with one another outside of marriage (1 Cor 7:1-4).  Sex outside of marriage is called ‘fornication’ – it is sinful and will bring you into judgment.  Marriage is a sacred institution, and the marriage bed is to be held in honor and left undefiled (Heb 13:4).  Sexual morality is very important, and we are warned that fornication puts the soul in jeopardy (Rev 21:8).

Why does life stink?  I try to believe in God, but life is full of misery.  If God is all-knowing, why did He even create us to be so miserable?  I would have preferred to be like a robot and have all in common with everyone instead of such ups and down.  Sorry, but I am really feeling that God is just a superstition.

Sincerely,
Miserable

Dear Miserable,

This life can be miserable because of sin, not because of God. God does not desire anyone to suffer.  God made the world perfect, placed mankind in the Garden of Eden, and gave us a joyously blissful existence in that paradise.  Who caused the pain?  We did.  It is sin that has brought all of the death, disease, decay, pain, suffering, troubles, and heartaches into our world.  We all, in varying degrees, are reaping the benefits of a world with sin in it.

People suffer for various reasons:

1. Sometimes we suffer for our own sins (Gal 6:7-8)
2. Sometimes we suffer because of others’ choices (Like David’s sufferings at the hands of Saul – 1 Sam 20:1)
3. Sometimes we suffer in order to glorify God through our suffering and recovery (Like the blind man – Jhn 9:2-3)

No matter what, God tells us that we can rejoice in tribulations (Rom 5:3) because eventually, if we suffer faithfully, our tribulations produce indestructible hope… a hope that cannot be taken away from us.  God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28).  God isn’t a superstition; He is a very real and faithful Lord.  We recommend reading the post “Does God Exist?” for some of the evidence that proves God’s existence.

What can a physically abusive man do to stop his ways?  He loves Christ, but he gets mad and flips out; then he repents over and over.

Sincerely,
Hoping To Help Him

Dear Hoping To Help Him,

He can stop his ways whenever it is important to him.  Contrary to what he says, this abusive man isn’t out of control – he can stop being abusive whenever he wants to.  In fact, abusive spouses are in complete control of their behavior.  Saying they “lose control” is just an excuse to continue sinful behavior.  Consider that:

1. Abusers pick and choose whom they want to abuse.  Abusers don’t assault or threaten everyone in their lives, only the ones they claim to love and care about.  Abusers have enough self-control to safely interact with employers, grocery clerks, and a thousand other people.
2. Abusers carefully choose when and where to abuse.  Abusive spouses act appropriately in public but unleash their rage in private.  They have enough self-control to hide their behavior from society.
3. Abusers are able to stop when it benefits them (for example: when the police show up, their boss calls, etc.).
4. Worst of all, the most violent of domestic abusers are able to show enough control to aim their blows where they will be hidden from the public.  Many physically abusive adults specifically pick to leave marks only in places that won’t show.

In short, domestic violence isn’t uncontrollable – it is a choice.  All sin is something we have a say in, and it is our decision whether or not to let it be our master (Gen 4:7).  If you are in an abusive relationship, do not accept the lie that they can’t control their behavior.  Physical abuse is inexcusable.  God says that we should love our children (Tit 2:4) and love our spouses (Eph 5:28).  Domestic violence is the exact opposite of that command.

How do you completely surrender to God?

Sincerely,
White Flag

Dear White Flag,

You completely surrender to God when you allow Him to guide your life through His Word.  When we place our faith in God, we become soldiers in His army and follow His commands (2 Tim 2:3-4).  Jesus is our King, and we must bow our knee and our will to Him (Php 2:9-11).  We have faith in Christ when we hear and obey His Word (Rom 10:17).  We surrender our lives by following the Bible.  The very first acts of obedience to Christ involve the five steps to become a christian (read “Fives Steps To Salvation” for specifics).  After you have become a christian, it is a matter of growing and living by the Bible to the best of your ability.