Can people fall out of love?  If the love you have for each other is true, why do so many marriages end in divorce?  I am not married yet, but my boyfriend and I know we will be someday.  I love him more than my own life and second only to the Lord, whom by His grace, sent me my best friend.  But I hear almost every day of someone who I believed to have a Christ-centered relationship breaking up, or worse, ending their marriage.  How can this be?  How can people stop loving the person they marry and have promised to love forever?  Are they really losing their love, or are they being lazy and not wanting to work at the relationship anymore?

Sincerely,
Happily Ever After

Dear Happily Ever After,

To answer your question, we need to talk about the difference between passionate love and the type of love the Bible says a marriage needs.  Passion is a fickle thing; passionate love is what we most often associate with love because that is what society teaches us romance is all about, but passion doesn’t always stick around.  When a marriage faces the strains of day-to-day life, sometimes you don’t “feel” close… but God teaches that a godly marriage is built off of a stronger type of love.

Biblical love (best described in 1 Cor 13:4-8) is a choice, not a feeling.  A loving husband chooses to do that which is in the best interest of his wife.  He is to seek to love his wife as Christ does the church (Eph 5:25).  A husband’s love is sacrificial; it is a gift he chooses to give unconditionally.
A wife is to respect her husband (Eph 5:24).  She shows him respect even if he doesn’t deserve that respect.  She chooses to let him lead the household regardless of whether he is good at it.  As long as his decisions do not force her to disobey God (Acts 5:29), she follows him.  She treats him as a man and honors him as head of the household even when he acts petty and small.  Her respect is unconditional.
It is the lack of biblical love in marriages that has created the high divorce rate in our country.  Godly marriages are successful because both people choose to love each other even through the hard times.  Godly marriages take work, but it is good work, and it is rewarding work.  Ask any older couple that still holds hands when they walk down the street – it isn’t always easy, but it is worth it.

     Hi; I was reading about what some of the earliest Christians believed, and apparently, in one of their earliest rule books called the Didache, it says that they had to publicly confess all their sins in church to everyone else.  Is this something we still have to do today?  I always thought we could just confess to God if it was something private, and I don't want to have to go in front of my church and tell them everything I've ever done.

Sincerely,
Privacy Please

Dear Privacy Please,

We must follow the Bible, and the Didache isn’t the Bible.  The Didache is part of what is often referred to as ‘second-generation Christian writings’.  Even though it is a historically significant document, it isn’t part of the Bible, it isn’t inspired by God, and we don’t use it to decide what is right and wrong.  The Bible never says that we have to confess our sins in front of the congregation.  It does tell us to confess our sins to God (1 Jn 1:9), but it doesn’t require that we do it publicly or that we do it in every circumstance.  Here are a few circumstances when the Bible says confessing your sins to others should be done:

1. If you have sinned against them, you must admit it and ask for forgiveness (Lk 17:3-4).
2. If you believe the knowledge of your previous sin will help them (1 Tim 1:15-16).
3. If you are struggling with a sin and need help (Jas 5:16, Eccl 4:9).
4. If it would be deceptive to not reveal the sin (1 Jhn 1:8).

But don’t fret about baring all before everyone else; the Didache isn’t the guidebook – the Bible is.

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ How is homosexuality against these laws?

Sincerely,
Love For All

Dear Love For All,

If you love God, you will do what He says, and God says that homosexuality is wrong (Jude 1:7).  Jesus told His disciples, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” (Jhn 14:15).  We can measure our love for God by our willingness to keep His commandments.  Someone that says they love God, but disregards His Word – doesn’t truly love Him.

If I sin does God still love me?

Sincerely,
I Made A Mistake

Dear I Made A Mistake,

The Lord loves people but hates sin.  God tells us it is appropriate to be happy when evil is destroyed because it means righteousness is prevailing (Pr 28:28), but God also says that it pains Him when the wicked perish (Ezek 18:23).  God loves us so much that He sent His own Son to die for our sins (Jhn 3:16), but He hates sin so much that if we don’t take advantage of the forgiveness that is in Christ, God will separate Himself from us (Lk 13:27).  When we sin, God wants us to repent of that sin and come to Christ that we might be saved.  Read “Five Steps To Salvation” for what it takes to become a Christian and have your sins removed.

Is it mandatory to attend church to be saved?

Sincerely,
Absent

Dear Absent,

The Bible teaches that we shouldn’t forsake the assembly (Heb 10:24-25).  God designed the church so that each individual would be strengthened by the power of the whole (Eph 4:16).  God never wanted christians to try and serve Him without the support of a local church; that is why He commanded the church to assemble.  It is impossible to do God’s work without being a part of a local church.  If you would like help finding a faithful congregation in your area, e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.