“Home Alone”

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Hi.  I have this issue of feeling alone.  I'm twenty-six and male, and never have I once had a relationship with a woman.  I'm extremely lonely to the point where I would throw myself in a bad experience just to validate my existence.  I pray every night to God for help.  I usually get so lonely I end up committing sins like porn, masturbation, etc.  It's not because I want to; it’s because I do it out of habit from being alone for so long.  The longer I wait, the more I think my soul mate doesn't exist.  Every time I think I have a chance with someone, I always find out they’re in a relationship, etc.  I love God, and even with my flaws, God is with me.  It's just that I feel deep loneliness and a longing for companionship.

Sincerely,
Alone

Dear Alone,

You have eloquently articulated what is the root of your problem – loneliness.  Now it is time to take charge of your life and remove that loneliness.  When we desperately want a spouse, we can sometimes become myopic and forget that dating isn’t the only way to fill our lives with friendship.  The problem is loneliness; the solution is to get involved in peoples’ lives.  God tells us to replace bad habits with good ones (Lk 11:24-26).  By your own admission, you have the habit of being alone.  Get involved in the lives of others – go to church (we can help you find a faithful one in your area), socialize with people your age, hang out in public places like Starbucks instead of lingering alone at home, volunteer at local non-profit organizations like the food bank or the animal shelter.  In short, get out and get active.  You have no control over whether or not you are in a romantic relationship, but you have a great deal of control over how active your life is.

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