“The Words We Use”

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I often say things that hurt the people I love; for example, I said to my sister today that she should have not planted a tree so close to another, and it hurt her feelings because she worked hard and was proud of her achievement.  She told me I was cynical just like our mother.  This, in turn, hurt me deeply.  I don't want to be cynical; I want to be edifying.  I work on it through Christ, but nothing seems to change.  I see the works of Christ in other areas of my life, but this root seems to be at the core of my being.  How can I have lasting healing from this?

Sincerely,
Glass Half Empty

Dear Glass Half Empty,

There is no miracle pill that will make you become better at interacting with people; kind words and a gentle tongue are skills acquired through practice and time.  Since you say that you’ve seen improvements in other areas of your life, you know that growth takes time – but eventually bears wonderful results.  Here are some things to consider as you try and improve your speech.

1. What we say comes from our hearts (Mk 7:18-23).  How you feel about people matters.  Spend time trying to think of life from the other person’s perspective.  Jesus was the master of compassion.  Even though He had nothing in common with the sinners He preached to, He still had a deep-seated love for them (Mk 2:16-17)… and it came across in how He spoke.
2. Sometimes the kindest thing you can say to someone is nothing at all.  If in doubt, keep your mouth shut.  Even a fool looks wise when he remains silent (Pr 17:28).  Nobody is offended by a kind, generous (and silent) smile.
3. Remember that words have power.  The old saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a lie.  The human tongue has the ability to set the world on fire (Jas 3:5-6).  Think before you speak; what you say makes a difference.
4. Remember that God is watching the words that we use.  He hears everything and is displeased when we use the same mouth to praise Him and to curse our brother (Jas 3:9-10).  Speak like He is listening.

We wish you the very best in your journey to improve your speech.  We all need to fight the good fight of controlling our tongues.

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