When a person loses their spouse or child to death, how does that remaining person keep from becoming like Jacob in the book of Genesis when he lost his son Joseph, and he mourned so hard he "let his grey hair down to Sheol"?

Sincerely, Deep In Sorrow

Dear Deep In Sorrow,

This is a great question… which is why thousands of books have been written

on the subject of grief. The statement you referred to is made by Jacob immediately upon hearing of his son's death and when he contemplates the loss of a second son (Gen 37:35, Gen 42:38). That emotion is a normal one. When one learns of the death of a spouse or child, their first reaction is so painful and the grief is so deep that they feel they will never have another happy moment on this earth. Jacob's first reaction was normal in this respect. Jacob later received the good news that his son was alive, so he didn't have to go to his grave in pain.

But your question is about us today. How do we handle grief, so that we will be able to recover and find happiness again? This process of handling grief is called "Healing Grief." It means we go through the grieving process in the right way, so we can heal. This is where those thousands of books come in, and I suggest you read many of them if you are in this condition. Some of the major things most people need to do are:

1) Go ahead and cry your eyes out. Don't be ashamed to express your pain by crying. (Ps 6:6-7)

2) If you have a friend who will listen, talk, talk, talk. Crying and talking are very therapeutic. Don't hold it in! Cry and talk. (Eccl 4:10)

3) Cry out to God in prayer and listen to God as He speaks to you through His Bible, especially the book of Psalms (Phil 4:6; 1 Pet 5:6-7). 4) This next one sounds funny to someone who has not been through this experience, but those who have will know what I am saying. After a few months, you will realize that you don't want to let go of your loved one. You don't want them forgotten. You actually hope they might, in some way, come back. At this stage, you must accept the fact that they are gone. This is not easy, but it is a big step that is necessary to healing. (2 Sam 12:22-23)

When this acceptance actually comes into your life, you will begin the final period called ‘recovery’. It is at this time that hope will come back into your life, and you will find happiness again. You are going through a grieving process God built within us humans who are made in His image… so don’t give up. Even Jesus Himself experienced this emotion (John 11:35).

When I was going to a youth conference on the weekend, I was reading the Bible in the book of Acts. I found Acts 2:17-21.

I knew this verse had something to do with the weekend. When we stopped at a coffee shop, I told my friend about the verse, and she thought it was amazing. When we were at the main session of the youth conference, the preacher used this verse… does this have any spiritual meaning?

Sincerely, Acting on Acts

Dear Acting on Acts,

The coincidence of the preacher using this verse aside, every Bible verse has a spiritual meaning and significance. Acts 2:17-21 is an excerpt from Peter’s sermon on the day of Pentecost, the very first sermon preached after Christ ascended into heaven. Peter is quoting the book of Joel (Joel 2:28-32) and stating that what Joel wrote about was happening now. The verses have nothing to do with our behavior today or the end of time. If someone uses those verses to talk about speaking in tongues, modern day prophecy, visions, or the end of the world – they are misusing the Bible. Those verses refer to that particular day and the time period surrounding Christ’s life and death. Let me explain the context.

For 400 years, the Jews had received no word from God - no prophets, no visions, no dreams, nothing. Then, after all that silence came:

1. Zacharias and the angel (Lk 1:13)
2. Elizabeth’s prophecy (Lk 1:41)
3. Simeon’s prophecy (Lk 2:26)
4. Anna’s prophecy (Lk 2:36)
5. The vision of the shepherds (Lk 2:8-9)
6. John the Baptist’s preaching (Matt 3:1)
7. Jesus’ miracles (Jhn 2:11)
8. The miracles of Jesus’ seventy disciples (Lk 10:17)

There was a veritable explosion of supernatural events. Peter is explaining how this influx of miracles, visions, and prophecy were a fulfillment of what Joel had said would happen in the last days of Israel. ‘In the last days’ doesn’t mean the end of the world in this circumstance; it means the end (or last days) of the Old Covenant. Peter is using these verses from the book of Joel to illustrate that Jesus really is the Messiah that the Jews had been waiting for. Jesus fulfilled Joel’s prophecy, and today we reap the benefits of it.

5 minutes a day 5 days a week All the New Testament in a year

5 minutes a day 5 days a week All the New Testament in a year

I was reading a question to a priest, and I asked him why we call him ‘father’ when it specifically says not to in the Bible (Matt 23:8). His response was that it is for the same reason a child calls their parent ‘father’; they are the natural father and the priest is the spiritual father. While I believe calling a priest ‘father’ is wrong, why is it okay to call our birth parent ‘father’?

Sincerely, Paternal Nomenclature

Dear Paternal Nomenclature,

Calling a priest ‘father’ is wrong because, as the priest said, it is referring to ‘father’ in a spiritual sense. That is what Christ is condemning in Matt 23:8-10. Christ is rebuking people who elevate themselves above others within the church. Catholic priests place themselves in a position of spiritual superiority and authority above others. That is wrong and exactly what Christ told His disciples never to do.

On the other hand, the term ‘father’ is perfectly fine when used to refer to a physical parent. The Bible itself uses the word ‘father’ almost 1,000 times, and the vast majority of those times refer to fleshly parents. Gen 2:24, Gen 9:22, Lev 20:9, Pr 17:25, Mk 10:29, Lk 11:11 are just a few examples. Our fathers are a blessing from God given to us for a time to guide and discipline us (Heb 12:9-10). They are worthy of honor and the title ‘father’ (Eph 6:2).