“A Thanksgiving To Remember”

Monday, August 08, 2016

A few people in my family (my aunt, her daughter, and my grandmother) were upset with my parents and decided to not invite them to the family Thanksgiving dinner where we draw names for Christmas, and they excluded my parents from the holidays that year.  My parents were really hurt because I joined in with what they did.  I told my mom I did nothing wrong; it wasn't my party; I did nothing wrong, but she said if I participate in something I know is not right, then I am also guilty of that wrongdoing.  Is she right?

Sincerely,
Innocent Bystander

Dear Innocent Bystander,

It sounds like your extended family is involved in a knock-down, drag-out fight… and you have chosen sides.  Your mother is right; when you participate in something, you are complicit.  Judas didn’t actually crucify Christ, but he led the mob right to Him (Lk 22:47-48).  We don’t know any of the details of your family situation (and don’t particularly need to), but what you did was choose sides.  Which side is right and which side is wrong isn’t the point – you aligned yourself with your extended family.

The Proverbs teach that getting in the middle of a battle that isn’t yours is like grabbing the ears of a dog… never a good idea (Pr 26:17).  You make it clear in your letter to us that this isn’t your fight.  If that is the case, stay completely out of it.  God calls us to seek and pursue peace (1 Pet 3:11).  We recommend you do exactly that.

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