“Love From A Distance”

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

My ex adopted three kids after we divorced.  I have tried to be a dad figure in their lives.  I have decided to start dating, and ex says I can no longer see the kids.  They have all had horrible dads that were abusive or absent.  I don't want to be another person that walks out on them.  Will God judge me for not being there even though I want to be but can't because of my ex?  Am I selfish to want to move on with my life?  I love these kids, and they tell friends that I am their dad.

Sincerely,
Distant Dad

Dear Distant Dad,

You can only do what you can do.  If you can be involved in their lives, even in a small way – you should.  Even though you aren’t their biological father, they view you that way.  You have a responsibility to do whatever you can to be involved and do good in their lives (Gal 6:10).

Having said that, it sounds like you don’t have a lot of control over the issue.  God only holds us accountable for what we are capable of doing (2 Cor 8:11-12).  You must be ready and willing to be involved, but if your ex-wife forbids you from being involved, you are no longer bound.

Pray about this issue (1 Thess 5:17).  Ask God for wisdom and petition your ex-wife for the opportunity to continue to do what you know is right.  After that, trust the Lord and find peace that He will make all things work together for good (Rom 8:28).

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