“Pulling For Two”

Sunday, March 31, 2013

     My husband and I were converted to Christianity almost six years ago.  I am grateful each and every day that we made that choice and have chosen to raise our kids up in the way of the Lord.  There have been many trials along the way, and I'm sure there will be many more to come.  However, as I am growing in the Word, I can see my husband take the "backseat" or "lukewarm" approach more and more often.  As my children are getting older, I think they are starting to catch on; this saddens me deeply.  I guess my question is: if you see someone "slipping away" and you've already made known your concern to them (and they get defensive whenever you make another attempt or effort), what do you do?  I guess in my "ideal Christian husband world" I would never have to send this because we would both be reading this and discussing these posts together... which I have recommended several times, and he sees me doing it all the time.

Sincerely,
Through Thick and Thin

Dear Through Thick And Thin,

Your situation is a difficult one and very hard to endure.  That feeling of being spiritually alone in your marriage is both trying and discouraging.  Here is the problem – there is nothing you can say to your husband that will make him want to change.  Since you’ve already talked to him before, you have seen how true that is.

Perhaps this is why the Bible says that the way a wife can change her husband is by her actions instead of her words.  1 Pet 3:1 says that a wife’s greatest tool against spiritual apathy in her husband is her own behavior.  1 Pet 3:1-6 outline the way a wife can make a difference, and it isn’t by taking over and forcing him to be spiritually active; it is by letting him lead the family but balancing that subjection with reverence for God.  This is a tricky thing to do!  Never compromise your own morals and spirituality, but allow him to lead in everything else.  This sort of meek and gentle behavior is God’s recipe for a wife to get to the heart of her husband, so he can be roused from his spiritual slumber.  This sort of behavior can prick your husband’s heart and also highlight for your children how important Christ is in your life.

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