I am fifty-two-years-old and have met someone.  We were both in previous long-term relationships.  We have been very good friends for about four years and started dating about four weeks ago.  Her relationship was for fifteen years in which she and he had lived together but never married.  She now has concerns about pre-marital sex in our relationship.  She feels strongly that it is immoral.  I believe in God but do not attend church.  I don’t understand why there seems to be a double standard.  Advice?

Sincerely,
A New Flame

Dear A New Flame,

Regardless of what this woman’s previous lifestyle was, sexual relations outside of marriage are wrong (1 Cor 7:2).  There is a double standard – her previous standard and her current standard… which is the right one.  We will give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she has repented for the previous fifteen years of sinful living and has faithfully decided to flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18).

You state that you “believe in God, but do not attend church”.  Do you believe in the Bible?  Do you believe the Bible is God’s Word?  If the Bible is God’s Word, then you need to be attending a faithful church (Heb 10:24-25).  These are questions that are very important to answer because they will affect your eternal existence.  We recommend you read through some of the posts in our EVIDENCES category in the archives.  There is immense evidence that God wrote the Bible, that we must obey the Bible in order to go to heaven, and that hell is a very real and terrifying place.  You have done well in believing in God, and we urge you to not stop there.

Is watching pornography a divorce-able behavior?

Sincerely,
Looking For A Lawyer

Dear Looking For A Lawyer,

Though Matt 5:28 says that lusting after a woman is definitely a sin, it is discussing the attitude of lust and that it is the same as committing adultery in your heart.  The actual act of adultery hasn’t happened, but the attitude behind it exists.  If a wife/husband could divorce their spouse for thinking lustful thoughts, then we should also throw everyone angry with others in jail for murder (Matt 5:21-22).
The Bible makes it clear that the act of adultery involves two people becoming one flesh (1 Cor 6:16), and it involves more than just an act of the mind, but an act of the body (1 Cor 6:18).

Does God test us?

Sincerely,
Number 2 Pencil

Dear Number 2 Pencil,

God tests our hearts by comparing them to His Word.  1 Thess 2:4 says that God tests the hearts of every human being.  God never tempts us with evil (Jas 1:13), but instead, He compares our hearts and lives to His Word (Ps. 105:19).  God tested to see whether Abraham would obey His Word (Gen 22:1-2), and He tested the nation of Israel’s obedience in the wilderness (Deu 8:2-3).  God tests us so that He might reward us according to the lives we have led (Jer 17:10).  James wrote that trials are tests that produce patience… if we are faithful (Jas 1:2-3).  This whole life is a test to see what kind of people we will be.

5 minutes a day
5 days a week
1 New Testament in a year

There are 261 weekdays in a year, and there are 260 chapters in the New Testament. By reading one chapter, Monday through Friday, you will read the whole New Testament by the end of the year. The Daily Cup series is to help with that goal.

Happy Studying!

"The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup." -- Psalm 16:5

Click here for a pdf of the study schedule - CLICK HERE

5 minutes a day
5 days a week
1 New Testament in a year

There are 261 weekdays in a year, and there are 260 chapters in the New Testament. By reading one chapter, Monday through Friday, you will read the whole New Testament by the end of the year. The Daily Cup series is to help with that goal.

Happy Studying!

"The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup." -- Psalm 16:5

Click here for a pdf of the study schedule - CLICK HERE