“A Heavy Heart”

Saturday, October 26, 2013

I will get straight to the point with this; I was sexually abused as a child; there were many personal consequences to me as a result of this, but it has mostly made it very difficult for me growing up to trust others, especially men.  I understand that nothing like this is the will of God but that it is the consequence of sin.  What I don't understand is how God expects me to deal with this, make some good come from this, and be able to have a well-adjusted and functioning relationship.  For a long time, I felt it was unfair that I had to grow up without having the chance to really be a child, now though, I am just trying to make the best of my past and move on with my life.  Is there any advice you could give me?  …Because sometimes it's really difficult for me to deal with this, and to be honest, I feel lost about how to deal with and overcome these challenges because it feels like there is nothing good I can make out of it.

Sincerely,
Grew Up Too Fast

Dear Grew Up Too Fast,

Your question is a legitimate one that deserves a good and truthful Bible answer.  The problem is, if we could provide a one-paragraph answer that would overcome your lifelong struggle, you would have already found that answer.  There are some struggles that are so deep that they can’t be unburdened quickly.  God says that the heart knows its own sorrow (Pr 14:10) and that it is easier to destroy than it is to rebuild (Eccl 9:18).  There is no shame in seeking counseling and finding a healthy listening ear to unburden your woes upon (we would be happy to help you locate a Bible-based counselor in your area).  Time and effort are the only truly effective tools for coping with such devastating pain as being abused as a child.

The only other thing that we would say is that it has been our experience that people who have been through great trials are the ones that are the most capable of helping others.  Trials seem to have a way of increasing our capacity to empathize and pull alongside others.  The Bible shows this to be true in numerous circumstances.  Jeremiah’s suffering at the hands of Israel, Daniel in the lion’s den, Ruth’s early widowhood, and countless other stories of bereaved and burdened Bible heroes tell us that adversity can create magnificent humans.  It may very well be that you will be one of the most effective people at helping others because you suffered so much at such an early age.  We are so very sorry for your pain and pray that you will be able to overcome.

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