I have a son who is married, but he and his wife are separated.  He is seeing other women and having sex with them.  He stays with us, and so if he’s living with us and we know that’s what he’s doing, will that stop the blessing from coming in our house?

Sincerely,
Dad

Dear Dad,

When a child becomes an adult, they are responsible for their own sins… but you are responsible for your household.  Eli was sharply rebuked and cursed by God because he honored his sons above God’s law (1 Sam 2:29).  When a love of family supersedes our love for the Lord – we’ve got big problems (Lk 14:26).  You cannot control what your son does when he leaves your house – but until then, remember the words of Joshua: “As for me and for my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh 24:15).

     Why does it feel as though single parents aren’t accepted in the church?  I’m a single parent of two boys, and when I go to church, it seems that people there are distant from us.  Nobody, I believe, was asking to be placed in this type of situation.

Sincerely,
Single

Dear Single,

It is hard to say why anyone feels like they aren’t accepted in their congregation.  There are many reasons, and here are just a few:

1. It may be because the congregation really is distant and are treating you unkindly.  Of course, this is wrong.  We are told that we shouldn’t have favoritism within the church (Jas 2:1-9).  Christians should always strive to show love and kindness to all of mankind.
2. It may be that your situation makes you feel isolated even though people aren’t trying to be distant.  We often super-impose our own fears upon others, and our perceptions of reality aren’t always correct… especially when we have struggles that make us feel out of place – such as being a single parent in a congregation with few others facing that same difficulty.  Each heart knows its own sorrow, and we can subconsciously isolate ourselves (Pr 14:10).
3. It may also be that some people have been unkind or uncharitable to you in the past, and that has left a bad taste in your mouth.  Eccl 7:21-22 warns us not to take to heart everything that others say – after all, we all stick our foot in our mouth from time to time.  That being said, a poorly chosen word or action can certainly create distance.

These aren’t all the reasons that cause people to feel detached from a congregation – but they are some of the primary ones.  We are sorry things have been so difficult for you.  Hopefully, tomorrow brings better things.

     Would you please give me an overview of John chapter 11?  I know that it is telling us that death does not have the final say for those of us who are children of God, but I need a better understanding.

Sincerely,
Explanation Please

Dear Explanation Please,

John chapter 11 is about the resurrection of Lazarus.  Lazarus lived in Bethany and had two sisters, Mary and Martha (Jhn 11:1).  Lazarus became sick, and they sent word for Jesus (Jhn 11:3); Jesus purposefully delayed in coming to care for Lazarus (Jhn 11:6), so this event could glorify God (Jhn 11:4).

Eventually, Jesus traveled to Bethany to raise Lazarus from the dead (Jhn 11:11).  The key verse to the whole chapter is Jhn 11:25 where Jesus refers to Himself as “the resurrection and the life”.  Lazarus’ resurrection became a turning point in Jesus’ ministry.  Many believed in Jesus because of the miraculous resurrection (Jhn 11:45), and conversely, the Pharisees began to seriously plot Jesus’ murder because of the popularity He gained from Lazarus’ resurrection (Jhn 11:47, Jhn 11:53).  Lazarus’ resurrection was a real event that pointed to the real power of Jesus to save.

Why is it important that we have to say the Greek word for this or the Hebrew word for that is translated to mean this?

Sincerely,
Speak English

Dear Speak English,

It isn’t necessary to know the Greek or Hebrew words found in the Bible.  Reading in the original language adds color, but you don’t have to know Greek/Hebrew to learn God’s will.  However, you do need to be willing to dig in, compare verses, look up definitions, etc.  Understanding the Bible is about being a student of God’s Word, and all students have to do their homework.

Even the hardest passages can always be understood by comparing them to the sum of God’s teachings (Ps 119:160).  If you run into a difficult-to-understand passage (even Peter said that some Scripture is hard to understand – 2 Pet 3:16), it takes work to dig in and compare the other verses, but you can find the truth on the subject.

Anyone can understand the Bible in their own language, but that doesn’t mean everyone will just understand the Bible because doing so takes work.  God tells us that we must hunger and thirst after righteousness if we want to be filled (Matt 5:6).  He also says that it takes a love for the truth to be saved (2 Thess 2:10).  That hunger and love will lead people to the truth.

     I have a question that is somewhat troubling to me.  Two friends of mine were having a debate about politics and religion, and one of them said that God hates the unrighteous.  Put so point blank, it really made me think, and I did some reading online, searching Christian sites to see what people have to say about it and received further conflicting messages.

I know God hates sin, but God sent out His word to everyone in the world.  The unsaved reject it, but it was sent to them.  So how can He have tried to save people He hated?  Does He hate them?  If He does hate sinners, how does that go together with Jesus’ admonitions to love thy enemy and what He says about a doctor not coming for those already healthy but rather for those who are sick? Jesus and God are one, so clearly, if God hating the sinner is true, it goes to together somehow, but I don’t understand how.

I read someone’s comment that said, “A man who steals is a thief. God hates the thief who steals”, and yet, Jesus sought out thieves to save them.

This question is very troubling to me.  I know everything God does is right, but somehow it is very hard to accept the plain statement ‘God hates the unsaved’.  I know the unsaved will go to hell, and I know justice is very important to God, but again, Jesus, God, and the Holy Ghost are one, and there so many instances of compassion in the Bible that it’s hard to believe He just hates them, and that’s it.  Or am I just having troubling believing this because I don’t want to believe it?

Sincerely,
Not A Hater

Dear Not A Hater,

The Lord loves people but hates sin.  God tells us it is appropriate to be happy when evil is destroyed because it means righteousness is prevailing (Pr 28:28), but God also says that it pains Him when the wicked perish (Ezek 18:23).  Here is the problem – when a person's life becomes so intertwined with sin that the sin has become the essence of who they are, God hates that.  Ps 5:5, Ps 11:5, Lev 20:23, and Pr 6:16-19 makes that clear.

Think of it this way, if you saw someone push a small child, would you be upset at the action or upset at the person?  The answer is both.  The action came from the person and originated from their character.  All sin is that way.  God doesn't inherently hate people, but when someone consistently rebels against God, hurts others, spreads lies, and harms God's work here on Earth... God's anger extends to both the sins and the people who flagrantly commit them.  They have chosen to put their lives in opposition to Him, and as much as it pains Him, He must consider them enemies.