Ask Your Preacher
I have gay parents. NO, I don't agree with it, but that’s not the point.
Both of them have recently gotten physically abusive.
I want to talk to someone about it, but I feel God is telling me to stay at my mom’s and not move to my dads. The reason is that I have a better chance in college if I were to stay at my mom’s.
And even if I were to move to my dad’s, I would have to say goodbye to everything I know and love.
What should I do; how should I handle this situation?
No Easy Choice
Dear No Easy Choice,
Choose what’s right, and the future will care for itself. If we understand you correctly, the physically abusive parents are at your mother’s home. Your father’s home does not have abuse and does not have the immorality issues. So you have two choices:
- Stay in an immoral home where you have to worry about your mental, emotionally, spiritual, AND physical safety because you believe that you might be able to go to college if you stay.
- Move to an overall safer and more moral environment that would force you to leave your friends, neighborhood, comfort zone, etc.
The key is to never make decisions based off of the consequences. Make decisions based off of what is right. Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33). You current situation is bad company. If you stay, it will destroy you. You do not know what moving will bring, but you know that staying will bring only corruption. Trust the Lord and His Word to guide your life. You can never know what is the best choice. He does. Have faith, and He will bless you in your new life. Let the Lord be your hope and shield (Ps 119:114-116).
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In the book of Revelation, we are told not to hurt the earth. But I have heard a lot of christians say that they won't recycle, drive a fuel-efficient car, or even pick up litter! Isn't being "green" part of God's orders? Thanks.
Dear Green Thumb,
The verses you are referring to are Rev 7:3 and Rev 9:4, but they are severely torn from their context. In fact, the verse right before (Rev 7:2) points out that God had appointed angels for the specific purpose of hurting the earth. The whole book of Revelation is dealing with figurative language and should not be taken literally because God says it is a symbolic book that uses figurative and picturesque language (Rev 1:1) to address a spiritual battle the first century church was fighting. See our post “Left Behind” for further details.
As far as addressing the issue of being “green”, God did give mankind dominion over the earth to subdue it and use it (Gen 1:27-30). As stewards of the earth, we have a responsibility to be faithful (1 Cor 4:2). There is some debate over whether fuel-efficient cars, recycling, etc. are a necessary part of taking care of the earth though. The specifics of environmental research are highly debatable, and we can’t be too dogmatic one way or the other.
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My wife and I raised two wonderful God-fearing children who both married christian spouses. My son, after several years of marriage and three small children, began to "cheat" on his wife and lie to us. She divorced him on grounds of adultery and the church withdrew fellowship as he was unrepentant. This was very painful for his mother and me to endure, especially as our unbelieving families could not understand the church’s (and our) take on discipline of the ungodly. My son now wants to "normalize" relations with me as his father (which I desire as well), but continues to live in sin and proclaim his hatred for Christianity. I have seen many christian parents ignore the instruction to withdraw from the ungodly when it is their adult-child being disciplined. My son does not want me to compromise my faith, but wants me to accept his lifestyle and renew our father-son relationship. What should I do?
Dear Hurting Father,
It appears that you have answered your own question at the end of your letter. We will point that out later, but first we will give some Bible teachings that might help you make the right decision. Your letter explains a very difficult dilemma that some Christians have to face because we are commanded to “withdraw from” (2 Thess 3:6, 1 Cor 5:1-13) and “have no company with” an ungodly christian. We are to do this for the sinner’s own good, hoping it will bring shame on them and they will repent (2 Thess 3:14). This, then, is really a loving thing to do even though it is a hurtful and sorrowful act for all people involved. As we look at the other side of the coin, we have teachings concerning family relationships that do not apply when you deal with a non-family member. We are to care for our own family (1 Tim 5:8). Children are to honor their parents (Eph 6:2, Matt 15:4). These are relevant passages when a parent is dealing with a young, ungodly child. However, the passages do not seem to apply to you since you are the parent and since your son is no longer dependent on your care.
Now, back to your own comments. Here are some things we notice in your personal analysis of the problem that we think are significant. You say your son is not interested in repentance but continues to live in sin and proclaim his hatred for Christianity. You said he only wants to "normalize" relations with you as his father. In other words, there is no sorrow or repentance involved – which is the very purpose of any “withdrawal” action.
You also expressed your true feelings when you said, “I have seen many Christian parents ignore instruction to withdraw from the ungodly when it is their adult-child being disciplined.” Your statement shows that you believe you did what was right; therefore it would involve a conscience problem if you decide to do exactly the opposite (Rom. 14:22-23). If you violate your conscience, you know that you are sinning. Your last sentence is also very revealing and shows there will be a conscience problem. You said, “My son does not want me to compromise my faith but wants me to accept his lifestyle.” First, this is an impossibility, and second, it shows that you would be compromising your faith if you did so.
This is a painful situation, and we here at AYP express our sympathy for you and pray that you will make the right decision as you consider the Scriptures and your conscience on this matter.