Ask Your Preacher
Does God bless everyone with a wife?
There are no guarantees regarding marriage. In a fallen world full of sin, all sorts of tragic things happen… including people living without helpmeets even though they desperately want them. God offers us comfort in that we can seek Him and His help through prayer (Jas 5:16-18). God even says that there are advantages to being single, and that our single years can be our most productive spiritually (1 Cor 7:32-34). Take heart that the Lord watches over those that are His (Jhn 10:14), and you will never be tempted beyond what you are able (1 Cor 10:13). We can’t guarantee that you will have a wife, but we can tell you that in almost all cases, the right person comes along at the right time.
What is considered a sin if you are not married?
Dear Not Married,
There is a difference between romantic acts and sexual acts… and sexual acts are for marriage only. There is a line between a gentle kiss of affection and a lustful kiss of sexual appetite. Until marriage, it is important to avoid lustful situations altogether. Paul told Timothy to “flee youthful lusts” (2 Tim 2:22), and 1 Thess 4:5 warns against the “passions of lust”. The godly thing to do is to not defile the beauty of the marriage bed (Heb 13:4) by jumping into lustful activities before “‘til death do us part”. There is much disagreement over where to draw the line when still dating, but the principle is that lust should be restrained so that godly affection might grow.
Just because it says that husband is the ruler of me, does that mean he can boss me around and make all my decisions for me? Does it mean I can’t make any decisions on my own or speak what’s on my mind? Does it mean I’m not allowed to do anything on my own because my husband is in charge?
My husband says he's in charge of everything, but I don’t think that’s what the Bible means when it says he's my master in this marriage.
Dear Mad Mrs.,
It sounds like your husband isn’t doing a good job of following his marital responsibilities to love his wife – so the way you win him over is by following your marital responsibilities.
A wife is to respect her husband (Eph 5:24). She shows him respect even if he doesn’t deserve that respect. She chooses to let him lead the household regardless of whether he is good at it. As long as his decisions do not force her to disobey God (Acts 5:29), she follows him. She treats him as a man and honors him as head of the household even when he acts petty and small. Her respect is unconditional. It isn’t about not speaking your mind or having your own thoughts; it is about an attitude that shows him honor, which feeds his soul.
In like manner, husbands have the command to “love your wife” (Eph 5:28). A husband is to love his wife as his own body regardless of whether she is being respectful and kind. A husband’s love is not dependent upon a wife’s respect. Biblical love (best described in 1 Cor 13:4-8) is a choice, not a feeling. A loving husband chooses to do that which is in the best interest of his wife. He seeks to love his wife as Christ does the church (Eph 5:25). A husband’s love is sacrificial; it is a gift he chooses to give unconditionally.
Each spouse has their own job. You cannot force the other spouse to behave one way or another, but you can win them over by your behavior (1 Pet 3:1). Right now, from the sounds of it, your husband is treating you in a deeply unloving way; that is wrong. However, what you can do is treat him with respect, and the Lord will bless your efforts.
My question is this: if my husband is the sole moneymaker in our household but is not yet reborn of Christ, how do I know what I am to give to my church? Say he brings home $2,500.00 gross per month. He is not agreeing with me to tithe 10%.
Dear Money Matters,
You aren’t accountable for giving what you don’t have control over. In 2 Cor 8:12, the apostle Paul explains that we are only held accountable for what we have power over. Your husband is the head of your household (Eph 5:23), and since he is an unbeliever, he isn’t going to have the same priorities as you. Do your best to talk through this issue with him, but take comfort that the Lord isn’t upset if you end up giving less than you wish you could.
Hi. I was wondering if it is a sin to have an interracial relationship?
Dear Color Blind,
There is absolutely nothing wrong with interracial marriage. First of all, we are all descendants of Adam and Eve (Gen 3:20), and, therefore, race is a moot point. Secondly, in Christ, such things as race have no significance (Gal 3:27-28). The only concern you should have when falling in love and marrying is whether or not they are “in the Lord”, i.e. a christian (1 Cor 7:39).