“A Sensitive Topic”

Monday, November 16, 2015

I have a deep sense of guilt every time I masturbate. I'm seventeen-years-old, and sometimes I just have the immense urge to masturbate.  I know it's bad under God's eyes, but I still seem to do it.  I feel extremely guilty afterwards because I know God is mad at me.  I ask for forgiveness, but I somehow feel God is mad at me.  Will He forgive me?  The temptation is strong... can you help me?

 

Sincerely,
Youthful Temptation

Dear Youthful Temptation,

We receive a great many questions regarding this subject, and after much thought, we have decided to give a rather lengthy answer to this question, hoping that it will not be necessary to deal with it continually in the future.  We here at AYP do not wish to fixate upon a private and sensitive topic week after week, but we understand that the issue of masturbation is a very real struggle for most young men, and it deserves a Bible answer.

Your question makes the assumption that masturbation is always sinful.  The truth is that the Bible never specifically addresses the topic.  When we search for a Bible answer, we must conclude that God has not spoken one word on this subject.  Having said that, we realize there are many religious teachings in the world today claiming it is either right or wrong.  Catholic doctrine teaches it is a sin one hundred percent of the time, but that is a man-made teaching – not something directly understood from the Bible.  On the other hand, many liberal religious groups teach that masturbation is a perfectly normal thing that should be practiced without any reservation.  Neither teaching is accurate.  We need to look at what the Bible says concerning the topic and accept its teachings and nothing else.  There are some other things (such as lust and guilt) that are closely related to this subject, so we will address them because there are specific Bible teachings on those subjects.

1. Lust is sinful.  Anything that involves lusting after a woman (that is not your spouse) is not allowed (Matt 5:28).  ‘Lust’ means to ‘look upon with strong passion or desire’.  Any action that involves a strong sexual desire for a specific person that is not your spouse is sinful.
2. Many, many God-fearing people have a sense of extreme guilt after the act of self-relief.  When someone’s conscience is upset, that is always sinful because it shows you are doing something you believe is wrong.  If we cannot do something in faith, then it is sin (Rom 14:23).  In essence, if you think it is wrong, then it is wrong… at least for you.  If you do what you believe is right, you will not have a guilty feeling in anything you do.  If you do not do what you believe is right, then you will always have a guilty feeling.  This holds true of everything in life.  This is why it is so important that we examine the Scriptures and be fully assured that what we are doing is right with God.  That means we must always study what God has said (not man) on every subject.
3. Pornography is often closely associated with masturbation and should always be avoided.  Pornography is sinful because it is designed around lusting after specific women (see point #1).  Pornography is also a highly addictive sin.  Many young lives have been horribly destroyed because of sexual addiction to pornographic images.  We cannot overstate the dangers of this type of addiction.  Thus, pornography must be avoided at all costs.
4. When young people are in that stage between childhood and marriage, there is a constant pull and temptation from the sexual realm.  There is no easy way around the desires created by the physiological reaction of a young man's body.  God understands that a young person’s body burns in passion (1 Cor 7:9).  It is said that in today’s culture and society, a young man is bombarded with things to stimulate him on an average of every ten seconds.  This is not an excuse, nor should it be used as an excuse, for immoral behavior – but it is a reality that every young man has to cope with.
5. Marriage is God’s vessel for the relief of sexual desires (1 Cor 7:1-5).  God understands the devil uses the sexual realm to tempt us away from a faithful life, and God created marriage as the solution to that temptation.  That is the long-term answer to this issue.  The problem we are dealing with is what someone should do to act faithfully through the short-term period of time between childhood and marriage.

This issue is not an easy one and there are no clear-cut answers.  The Bible provides many principles that surround this subject, and we have tried to outline them here… but ultimately, each person must faithfully consider these principles and behave themselves in a way that they believe is adhering to the teachings God lays out in His Scriptures.  We shouldn’t allow man-made religious laws to control our lives, whether they are overly conservative or overly liberal.

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