Ask Your Preacher

Ask Your Preacher

“Two Paths Diverge”

Categories: DATING/COURTING, MARRIAGE, RELATIONSHIPS, RELIGIONS
     My boyfriend of thirteen years told me he can no longer have a relationship with me because I don’t attend church.  He said I need to follow his path.

Sincerely,
Ex-Girlfriend

Dear Ex-Girlfriend,

We would have to side with your ex-boyfriend on this… but give us a second to explain why.  The end goal to your relationship is marriage, and ‘inter-faith’ marriages have disastrous results, an awful track record, and God warns against them.  No matter how much you love each other, there are only four possible outcomes to a marriage between to people that don’t have the same spiritual goals, and only one of them is good:

  1. You eventually convert, obey the gospel, become a christian, and are saved (this would be a really GOOD outcome).
  2. He eventually forsakes the Lord, and you are both lost (BAD).
  3. You both make compromises in your beliefs, and neither of you is fully committed to anything (BAD).
  4. You both eventually renounce both of your belief systems, and are both lost (BAD).

The only positive outcome is the first one, and that isn’t any more likely to happen after you are married than before.  From your boyfriend’s perspective, if you aren’t with him on this journey to serve Christ – neither of you is going to be happy, with potentially eternally disastrous consequences.

God warns against being ‘unequally yoked’ to someone with different values than you (2 Cor 6:14-16). Once you get married, you are ‘yoked’ to that person with a lifetime agreement. A godly marriage is designed around unity (Gen 2:24). If you aren’t unified on your core belief system, then everything else will be affected. Where will your children go to church? How much money will you contribute to church?  What happens when you disagree on moral decisions – what is the standard you will use to come to an answer? These are just a few of the thousands of day-to-day problems you will run into. God tells us that a christian should marry someone ‘in the Lord’ (1 Cor 7:39).  If you are serious about this guy, you need to ask yourself if it is worth looking into Christianity to see if there is a reason that this wonderful man finds it so important.  Either way, you are both better off knowing where you stand before entering into a heartbreaking marriage.